Act 3, episode 9: Stories Wrapped in Fall
Good morning to all my beautiful people. (Smile.)
I'm so intensely aware of this moment, typing to you, and
I want to be so intentional about what I say to you
in this precious time we share.
It is definitely Autumn.
This week, I was wrapped in Fall.
I enjoyed four days in the gentle mountains of north Georgia,
cuddled in my wool and fleece, hat and gloves.
I'd like to share a few independent stories
so I feel like we are all caught up and ready to move forward
with what is to come.
I see myself blogging about this week for many Sundays,
or processing my reactions to all that I learned,
for some time to come.
I was walking with a friend a few weeks ago, and she was confiding in me
her feelings about something that happened, and I said,
"So, you're in a dip..." rather matter-of-factly, nodding my understanding.
"You have a word for everything!" She said. Which still makes me smile.
I do. I have a word or words for everything.
Words matter so much:
do we "put a pet down," or are we lifting them up?
Is the body all that they are, or were?
Or are they being set free from a sickened body and
soaring high and free?
The body that was dying is put into the ground, yes.
But Elli, my Elli, was no longer in it. She wasn't there.
I didn't put Elli down, I set her free.
Matter cannot be eliminated, it just changes form.
On day five after Elli's end-of-life appointment,
I had a definite vibe and thought that my Elli was no longer mine,
that she had been born into a new dog body,
tiny, with brown fur this time,
and she was experiencing the world as a newborn,
with no current memories of me or our family.
Whether it is truly what occurred or not, that thought brought me peace.
I was excited for her and could openly and faithfully let her go.
I've heard a rumor that emojis are no longer as cool for young people
(perhaps because of adult overuse of them?
Like how all the young'ns left Facebook when the parents and grandparents all got on?
Or it could be as simple as it taking an extra clicking step to find the recently used emojis
on the apps--maybe they are just streamlining?)
Yes, so they are trending back to Words and Letters.
Being an organizing assistant has helped me to see the extra
in my closets, shelves and cupboards.
I have less unused and "someday" items in my home and have
streamlined what I actually use.
Packing for the trip to GA was so simple because of this.
I used to have "special" clothes, for events or trips or "someday."
I would bring several of these on trips, along with clothes that I normally wear.
Extra shoes, just in case.
This time, I brought warm layers and favorite-to-wears.
It all fit into a purple carry-on with extra room to bring back the items from
The Haven Retreat.
It was a completely simplified trip, and I was free to
pay attention to the purpose of why I was there.
Today's Deep Breath: here's a practical juju nugget, a collective Next Best Decision.
Truth: there will always be dips.
When I think that thought, I feel Acceptance.
I always float back up. That is absolutely, 100% true.
I have experienced and witnessed abuses. I coped the best I could as a young child.
Those same saving coping skills are no longer helpful.
Over-eating quickly is no longer necessary because I have access to food.
I don't need to hide. Or shrink.
I can use my own Words to say what I think and what I Want
or what I Don't Want.
I have been triggered by other's actions and words, yes.
I can change how I think and react to triggers. Yes.
Triggers show me My Work.
I can smooth out rough edges, and make what feels broken:
To the Six: Dips don't kill me.
The worst that can happen is a Feeling.
I won't die or get pregnant.