Ep. 24: Men in Our Lives

Because it is Father's Day, we'll see

"happy, happy, happy."

The Day can be great for all the

positive thinkers out here.

But, like Christmas, it can also be a difficult day.


Which is fine, if you'd rather have the difficult day.

Totally fine. We all have choice.


Here's how I like to see it.

We all have men in our lives.

From the very beginning, to the very end.

They are there.

They're kind of everywhere.


I've been aware of them my whole life.

Due to childhood trauma, I became very aware of them.

When I felt small and weak,

they seemed very powerful.


I'm stronger now,

and they are a fact, and very human,

and

also very worthy.


This is my own mic drop.


With holidays, we might feel some pressure to look beyond what is,

or what has happened,

and be happy.

Grateful.

When we aren't really feeling that.


Holidays like Mother's Day and Father's Day are

performance acknowledgements.

You birthed a child, so here's your day.

You fathered a child, so here's your day.


And, yes, we all had a mother and a father

and we can be grateful for their contribution,

of course.

Some of us know that birthing doesn't equate to nurturing,

and that's okay, too.


I really like the idea of acknowledging people for who they are

and not what they do.

Leave no one out.

Include us all, despite our actions.


Today's Deep Breath: here's a practical juju nugget, a collective Next Best Decision.


I celebrate and honor the very few men left in Germany after WW2. We lived there 50 years after the war, and there just were not that many men in that generation.


I celebrate and honor the 40% fewer black men left in their families

because they are in jail or have been killed.

The black community ratio of man to woman is 3 to 5, while the white ratio is 5/5.

(Imagine trying to find a date, let alone get married and have children.)


HERE'S MY WIN FOR THE DAY:

I celebrate men. You're welcome.

My abuser was a man,

but I can celebrate men

not because they had children,

but because they are human

and I'm not afraid of them

and they are worthy of every good thing

as am I

as are we all.


Continued equality-reaching aside,

continued appreciation for human-ness aside,

can Father's Day be a day that we celebrate ALL men?


I have been blessed, seriously,

with a 'new' Dad, who is so kind. He is so compassionate.

He is not perfect,

but literally, no one is.

He is perfect for me, and he was gifted to me.

You will never find a more grateful daughter.

Love you, Dad.


Until next time,

Tami