Ep. 26: Playing It Safe

Playing it safe can be smart,

using your earned wisdom,

adding a healthy dose of caution.


Earned wisdom...acting today

based on the experiences of our past.


I made my final weight loss goal this summer.

I'm going to be done with it

by the end of August.


Can you imagine?

Not having weight loss

as an on-going effort.

I've been working on this since I was 10 years old.

Noticing imperfectness in my body

for 43 years.


Creating my final goal was different than

the small ones along the way.

Because it required a complete mind shift

from being a weight loser to a weight maintainer.


Weight loss is a part of our culture.

At 60 billion dollars a year

and a 95% failure rate,

we continue to be herded,

making weight loss goals every year...

or next Monday.


Think about that.

It is an industry.

What weight-related goods and services

have you given your dollars for?


Here's the absolute truth:

if you don't change your mind,

you cannot permanently change your weight.


You can make decisions to

not get food when you get gas, not go through drive-thrus, not eat in the car, not drink your calories, not snack after dinner, no alcohol on the weekdays, not eat sugar, ever, not grab snacks at the checkout of the store, not eat at movie theaters, or any theaters.


Perhaps we can lose some weight this way

but

raise your hand if you have gained it back.


Right?

Plus some extra.


OK, so playing it safe.

When considering past "failures,"

we might shrink a little from making a goal

that is "too much of a reach."


"I don't think I can get to 20 pounds by Christmas."

And why do you think that?

Because I lose some and then gain it back.

(past failure)


They'll be parties and

weekends and

vacations and

holidays and birthdays.

(fail, fail, fail.)


My sisters recently said

they would love it if I could package a

solution to FAILURE.


Sure--never try anything.

Play it safe. Every time.


We could say, "I'm done trying to lose weight."

Which causes a gain of half-a-dozen pounds.


"If I'm not trying to lose, I will definitely gain."

Is that your belief?

I definitely still believe that one.


Or, we could be 100% honest.

"I plan on gaining 10 pounds over the holidays."

"I plan on having a bigger beer belly by the time school starts in August."


Somehow, it's culturally wrong to say those kinds of sentences.

(You what?)


Here's an action we take to feel safe:

cut the goal in half to make it more likely we'll achieve it.


"Maybe 5 pounds this summer."


Why are we more likely to not fail if the goal is smaller?

(Because we're not going to change our behaviors

and we know it.)


OK, maybe that was harsh.

But if we think we'll fail, we'll fail, every time.


Usually, we don't transfer this kind of thinking to

other areas of life, right?


Like, I know I'm going to get fired, so

I'm only going to do half of my work and hope for the best.


I know my kids are probably not going to do well, so

I think I'll slow down on this whole parenting thing.


I kind of suck as a student, so I'm not going to study.


We plan to fail, in advance.


Here's a couple of choices:

decide you are okay with failure,

or

let's give up and make zero effort.


Failure is really just an opinion.

Who says you failed?

At what point have you failed?


When we learn from our fails,

by really looking at our actions

and hypothesize why it didn't work,

failing teaches us.

A fail moves us closer to success because we keep experimenting.


If that's true - we can be grateful for a fail.


But we have this thing with perfection...

Perfection is often created from

a fear of judgement or

disapproval from others.

Totally normal brain reaction.

But OPTIONAL.


Decide what you want.

But don't do it from fear.

You will never be successful otherwise.


Today's Deep Breath: here's a practical juju nugget, a collective Next Best Decision.


OK, here's your solution. But it's a secret, so don't tell anybody.


Create some compassion for yourself.

Treat yourself like you would your best friend,

or your favorite child.


We can be so judgmental of ourselves

(not to mention others.)

Count how many times, in a day, you judge either yourself or another person.

You can't help it. It's kind of a human brain thing.


The problem is, we think we're telling the truth.

We believe every judgement we make.

And that's the problem.


Start with you.

Live your life free of harsh judgement.

And then project that out into the world.