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Ep. 43: No One is Immune

I'm so grateful for friends with insight

into why I might be

having a lot of

feelings.


Here's a few spotlight insights from friends:


#1

Hard things play out in life like a spiral.

BOOM-a hard thing happens,

but life keeps moving forward.


Each time we

revisit or remember or are reminded

of that event, it gets a little less painful...


like psychological touch points.


I felt one again this week.


Granted, my divorce event is still fresh. Ish.

The feelings are bigger than they will be and

smaller than they were. It's a fresh scab.


I don't talk about my divorce,

beyond mechanically.


I mean, because I'm fine, right?

I'm amazing.

I am handling everything like a boss.

Because I am a boss.


But there's a touchpoint. A dip. A fear,

that I won't handle it.

That I'm not strong.

That I want to melt.


#2

You can't see the label from the inside the jar.

So many people have written or said this, I can't give original credit.

Thank you to my quoting friend.


From inside a feeling,

it's tough to observe

what's actually real and

what my next steps are.


Being in the jar, sitting inside that dark cave,

is a natural part of life,

but how long do I want to stay?

Until I cry? Give one relieving cry and pull out?


It's hard to see in there, so I close my eyes, curl up.


I have a teensy desire

to feel better,

tucked in the corner of the pattern of sinking deeper...

I message a friend who

gives me wisdom,

a little truth nugget,

which opens me up to just enough energy

to grab a pen and write it out.

The call-a-friend feature is one of the greatest gifts of my life.


I have always had my people

who gave me snacks of strength

so I could reach my

inherent will

to decide.


TODAY'S DEEP BREATH: here's a practical juju nugget, a collective Next Best Decision.


With a sigh of relief, truly,

I am on the other side of the distress

and can see,

with a flashlight on the ankle,

what my next step is.


It is to write.

When sh*t happen, the first things to go

are my 15 minutes of journaling,

meditation, and deeper breathing.


My breath gets shallow,

which confirms to my brain: this is an emergency.

Then Brain calls up every other state of emergency we have ever had,

adding this one to the pile labeled: Unworthiness.


Writing those unsupporting thoughts,

(little thieves, little liars,)

seeing them on paper,

gives me the option of brushing them off or responding effectively.


One thought by itself is not very effective.

A clan, a tribe, a nation of thoughts...

that will push me back in the cave.


WHAT DO WE DO?

What is the best self-coaching skill

I can give myself and

anyone who wants to hear?


Write for 5 minutes.

Listen to yourself.

Discover You.


Discover truth,

your preferences,

and your lying, life-stealing - but well-meaning

fearful child-like thoughts.


Write. Then take your next step forward.


Thank you for listening.

My hope is that by chatting about these things,

someone feels seen,

as I do.

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