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IAmNotBritish, episode twenty-three

Happy Brunch Sunday from Florida. Raise your mimosas or mugs and let's clink a cheers to a bit of connection between work, notices and ads in your inbox. Written with a London accent in my head. Reading with an accent is completely voluntary.

I am not in an exclamation mark kind of mood. I will show up and wish you the best brunch Sunday, but for myself, I am not there. 

Is it the clearer vision of the murder and oppression, that makes this national holiday weekend seem exclusionary instead of joyful? Perhaps it's just a post-sugar let down morning.

It could be that. 

Friday night, our family watched the masterfully-presented Hamilton as we entered this Independence Day weekend. Even that makes my arms feel like they are controlled by strings--a masterful corporate decision, to have this filmed production open for July 4th weekend--truly taps into our patriotism (and nationalism) but also our fight for race equality.

Some look at the history and rejoice for the power and passion of fighting those who would oppress.

Others watch with sadness in their souls for the squashing that was created in its place.

("Keep them down.")

They colonize. They take.

We fight and are free. We in turn enslave. It is what we were taught. What else do we know?

Fight for what we want.  


Don't Be British.

It makes me want to break off, run, leave. I do not want to be a part of this lie.

But is it the only lie? Am I a puppet in other ways?

"Be ye therefore perfect."

Get married, because you cannot get into heaven without a man to hold your hand through the door.

Have children, because it is the best thing you can do with your time. And it is required. 

Be full of service to all, for this is your value.

What is my value?

If I break from Him, God, if I break from Him, husband... If I successfully encourage children to break from me, in their struggle to become...

My value is to myself. My value is in my own little voice. Whether it falls on deaf ears or floats up into a sea of voices, both current and past. The value is in my saying of it.

I am of worth to me. I stand with me. And I speak with them.

Today's Deep Breath: (Here's a practical juju nugget, a collective Next Best Decision.)

Well, that was dramatic. I'll be honest, I have a bit of Alanis in my heart this morning.

We choose. Each day that passes contains 35,000 choices, whether we consciously make them or not. 

I've enjoyed watching Homemade videos of the quarantined and virus-bound. Those creators had a design for folks to watch. If I choose to watch, yes, I am checking their box--but I am also filling my own. Thank you to the providers of the countless screen minutes, whether I liked your content or not. 

How vocal are you? 

When you have an opinion, or even a need, do you declare it out loud? Are you afraid?

"Will he hear me?"

We cannot control the response that others have to our words. 

Say them anyway.

Until next time,

Tami Lowe  


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