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IAmNotBritish, epsiode eleven

Happy Sunday, dears. I have many voices in my head this morning due to meditations, TedTalks, and online classes that are free due to the You Know What. It may be a challenge to channel my inner Gillian Anderson on this one, but I will try. Maybe a short YouTube clip will get her back...

Obviously, most of you, if not all, have been to a store recently. Particularly, in the last week the atmosphere has changed quite a bit. I don't mean the tape on the floors and the masked baggers, or even the plexiglass barrier between the scanner-gunned cashier and my own mask. There is an air of tension in spaces where people gather. And those gathering spaces are now limited to attaining the very basics of life: food, panti-liners and laundry soap.

I finally went out, after quarantine and illness.

I had been managing my own theoretical You Know What by overeating, overcaffeinating, and then being digestively sick. Hello again, Bulemia. Ah, beautiful Shame.

I believed I had packaged the drama, compressed it down into a tight little box that I could choose to pick up or keep under my bed. Because that is how I cope with life in general. Keep it tight, way down deep, until it surfaces. Bubbles at a time. Feel each one as it rises.

​I need to stop searching for something outside of me to calm my mind.

Today's Deep Breath: (Here's a little juju nugget. May or may not be helpful.)

One deep breath. Another. And one more. Binge on air, but slowly. Now that I am breathing without steroids and inhalers (as much), it feels amazing to fill the lungs...but not enough. Where's my gratitude for this air? 

Binge on water. Sip all day. Maybe a little less caffeine and a mini nap? Adrenal rest.


Things as simple as air, water and sleep can sustain us. Maybe a splash of music.

Tomorrow is a brand new day.

Until next time,

Tami Lowe


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