top of page

Act 3, episode 16: Intention vs Default

Woooo-boy, what a week.

Back to EVERYTHING. Including the good habits I have built.

In the realm of Versus,

pertaining to recent weight gain & and old, stored weight,

"recent weight is so much easier to release."

That's my thought, obviously,

but it feels very true.

I have a regular, main eating protocol

that is nourishing and consists of, really, nothing extra.

Occasionally I eat out or want something different.

The foods change each week, but basically

it's all gluten free, low or no sugar, low or no meat, and zero dairy.

Alas, the Holiday Season seems to mean something different to me.

Pumpkin pie. Sweet potato pie. Pie, pie, pie.

Living by myself means all the pie is mine.


I'm back on plan this week, and all the gains of December have said, "Adios."

That feels amazing.

Moving on to the old, stored weight, which has been a super fun process.

Truly. Weight loss has been FUN.

Because I have "come out," so to speak.

The 100% me.

I wasn't even aware that I was holding her back.

All these years.

Let's do a little: Shoulds versus Want Tos.

As a female born in the late 60s, how many Shoulds were handed to me?

A tiny baby, born in the Summer of Love,

and handed a little manual with a list of Shoulds.

"Here you go, baby girl."

I wasn't even aware of most of them, fully.

There's no way to know

the person I would have been without them.

But I have zero regret. Zero resentment for the manual.

Today I feel no trauma drama, no marriage drama, no divorce drama.

I see all the GREATs.

Two really great kids. A pretty great family that I helped build.

A family that he and I built together.

All great.

This blog's intentional versus:

Intention vs Default.


The first two acts of my life were mainly run on default.

Default = doing what is expected, checking off societal boxes.

Also, running on Limbic Girl, being reactive and mostly afraid.

Intention = deciding what I want, and planning to make it happen.

Using my frontal brain to manage the thoughts of the Limbic Girl.

Loving her and consoling her fears. Understanding her.

Lovingly clicking her into her car seat in the backseat,

and driving forward, fully conscious.


Today's Deep Breath: a practical juju nugget, a collective Next Best Decision.


It's exciting. Do you feel that?

That's how I feel almost every day.

My Morning Jam = writing all my limbic stuff,

reasoning with it, and deciding how I want to feel.

Seeing that Limbic thoughts are not always trustworthy,

but they do give me clues as to my own inner needs.

It takes like 10-15 minutes.

And then I live my life.

The Morning Jam is EVERYTHING.

I sleep, which resets my brain.

Then I write it out.

I've basically been cleaning out the Limbic filing system.

Let's be honest, we file memories as children

that don't always jive with reality.

The brain really does reach maturity around 25 years old--

so all of that footage is kind of unreliable.

(See the blog about the Unreliable Narrator.)

But that's OKAY,

all of it is ok.

It is all ok.

I am starting my fourth year of thought work,

and it has come to a point where if someone has a rant about

news or science or medicine

or work or family or even love,

I generally am not reactive.

I remember asking my ex-husband's Mom,

who truly, genuinely was a Mom to me,

"How do people let things 'roll off their back?'"

It took me a hot minute, but I got there.

If you know someone who needs coaching

for life transitions or

managing thoughts or feelings

or how to get a result they want this year,

you know where to find me.

Until next time,

Tami Lowe


bottom of page