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ep. 54: speak up

Happy Sunday brunch from Florida!


Let's raise a cheers

with mimosas or mugs

to a bit of warm connection.

My graphic up at the top

has 3 little words:

Find Your Voice.

I've been writing, editing a novel

I started six years ago.

It's fantastical to me, and

I giggle and squeal and jump up dancing

as I write it.

It is so FUN to use my voice.

Granted, I'm in a room, by a window,

speaking to keys. But I love it.

In this time, in this era, I am free to say what I think.

And if I can get kind of vulnerable

(when am I not?)

this has been a challenge I've been working on for years.

You know that thing where

you're in a marriage and you try

to be the best wife and

the perfect mom and

you start cooking dinners...

It all started with making dinners!

If I could go back...



maybe it was

keeping the PERFECT going

all day long, every day, for a quarter of a century?

That could be why I don't make dinners.

I'm in my office laughing. Bit of a tangent.

The thing about 'perfect' is

any opinion or desire

I might have had all those years


shut down.

Closeted, if you will.

I did that.

Yes, there was culture and relationships, but

I created a life

where there was no room for my words.

I was afraid to leave my colorful cave.

According to Harvard Business Review,

writing is a tool for healing.

It can help with trauma and to see a path forward.

Writing also affects our bodies:

lowers blood pressure, anxiety and depression

and strengthens the immune system.

I think this happens with a pen or a keyboard,

but also just by speaking out loud.

We use apps to speak to each other,

walkie talkie style, and to work remotely.

Often, writers dictate to their phones

to write books during commutes.

There is a cat-like purr

in our brain when we hear our own voice.

(We may dislike the sound of the voice, because

it's higher pitched when not traveling through the bones in our head,

but that's just us being judgey.)

We all have a teeny section of our brain--

it's only job

is to listen to our own voice.

Our brain's designed

to make our own voice

louder than

all the noise in the room.

Perhaps speaking up is healthy for our well-being,

more than we know.

TODAY'S DEEP BREATH: here's a practical juju nugget, a collective Next Best Decision.

All of us,

men, women and non-binary, at some point,

have trouble saying what we think.

Grazing the pantry.

Wine after work.

Scrolling Amazon in the dark.

We all do it, to some degree.

Not always a problem.

"It'll just be better not to say anything."

When we say this to ourselves too often,

it becomes a problem.

For those who I've helped,

this is the heart of their

health, relationship and money issues.

We literally Shut Up.

It's like saying to yourself: "What you think doesn't matter."

And we become disconnected.

I get people back on their own To Do List, without feeling selfish.

It's never the food, or the alcohol, or Amazon.

Say it out loud with me:

I think I want _____.

I'd actually prefer _____.

If I had all the choices in the world, I'd do _____.

If I was guaranteed not to feel bad about it, I'd for sure do _____.

I published a journal, using the format

I created when I was going through "All The Things."

You can get the digital for free,

or buy the paper one on Amazon, by clicking the link below.

Write a few words. 3 minutes a day.

Start there.


Always with warm connection,

Tami Lowe


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